Has No Life

Another Saturday night, at home, trying to find something to do.

I am beginning to think no one likes me.

Discovering Bea-ness

I am finally ready for Aiken. Problem is, I haven't finished with Columbia yet. And with this new job, often times it is difficult to keep up. But I am managing....

I just can't afford to fail (C's) in these classes.

Interestingly, I am trying to find out things that I will research for my senior research project. I am a little frightened at this challenge.

But like other things, I will give it my best.

Anyway, I have to keep my emotions in check. There is this cutie, but I know he won't be interested.

That's it for now.

Damn these feelings

I go through life everyday, feeling.....unloved.

So long have I desired my Prince Charming. I wish that I could be taken in the arms of my soul mate and just.....loved. I go through life feeling like there is a vital part of me missing that I need to live, breathe...to survive.

Everyday without love I feel like I am dying.

So long I have wished for the one who would make me feel beautiful....who would think that I was beautiful, no matter how I looked.

But that one hasn't come. He may never come.

Does anybody out there know how that feels?

Does anybody have a clue how it feels to feel undesired?

Am I really that unattractive?

Stress and Anxiety

These two fellas have become my best friends.

I worry a lot about classes, jobs, and making ends meet. But they are not the comforting friends that peace and hope are, oh, no, they are the friends that drain everything from you and cause you to question your very soul and your existence.

They leave you high and dry and without anything. They drain you and cause you to question your sanity. They have you teeter-totter on the edges of life and death, sanity and insanity, love and hate.

Why do we insist on keeping these friends?